Farm where you are....

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Some days....

Some days are faced with heavy hearts.

One of my daughter's has been officially diagnosed with Tourette's syndrome. Even thought this is something we were kind clued into from early on, we kind of skirted around the issue for a long time. Recently,we needed to bite the bullet so she can get what she needs in school. To finally hear the official diagnosis is something that makes my chest just  a bit heavy. 
Today was just a bit hard.
She's one of the main reasons that I have gone so into left field with organic/non-toxic living. There is so much about life I can't control for my children, that feeding them good food, and giving them a safe place to be is something I can control.
To me food is like medicine, and the fact that people are messing with it really upsets me, because it affects my children. And that it's not so accessible and expensive doesn't make me happy either.

Along with the organic food, we've had her on a  modified diet for  a while. I think it  has helped her immensely( organic food, no artificial dyes, preservatives,additives, high magnesium, balanced omega's). But it still breaks me to my core when I face up the reality of what faces her in life. And even though nothing is going to change with what we do for her, there's still a piece of me that wishes it were different.
Maybe it's more selfish on my part because it's just not what I want for her.

I know my kids are going to have challenges in life, I just don't want them starting from behind.
The thing is, she is really smart and funny, and bright.
But also just  a bit difficult as well. She doesn't have what you would think Tourette's is... the classic shouting swear words and uncontrolled uncensored thoughts that they show in movies.  It is classified in a tic disorder spectrum, and for her, it manifests as eye rolling, throat clearing, grimacing and a few other motor/vocal things.  We already have her in OT which has helped a lot, but it's  a long road. We've been told many times it's genetic and not caused by anything outside, they think, but that doesn't stop me from thinking back to my pregnancy and wondering if I should have done something differently; You know that classic mother's guilt.

I keep reminding myself that it's not a terminal thing and tons of people have this, and their lives are very happy and very normal. But, even though there's many things we are doing for her, there is nothing as  a mother I can do to take it away.

So for me the journey for cleaner and purer living is so much more that buying  into the hype. When I read studies that there is a direct link to pesticides and ADHD, I really sit up and take notice. Today was one of those days that really affirms that I am taking the right road for the right reasons.


  1. God Love your sweet daughter and your whole family, as you face this challenge! Sue

  2. I'm so sorry...I don't even know what that is. But I think I would feel the same way you do. I've been trying to grow our own organic veggies for 22 yrs...they are the only veggies my four children would eat. They don't like store bought, frozen, or canned. I homeschooled so I was able to teach them while we grew and cooked and baked organically. It is frustrating that we are loseing our freedoms and choices in healthly living. I am still doing what I can, while I still can, and am continueing to encourage my now adult/teen children to make healthy/right choices. They are all very overwt. problems, no allergies, no medications...and I believe it is because they have eaten organic, homegrown, homemade meals their entire lives. Ironically my daughter is a manager at McDonalds, but she still eats as healthy as she can and teaching her friends to do the same.

  3. ~*~Thanks for sharing such a painful and personal story with us~*~It must be so hard at times and scary*It sounds like you are such a wonderful mom and I can feel the care and love towards your daughter in your post*It is wonderful that you can share your personal experience and help others through your struggles*I really want my family to eat organic and really appreciate your blog and your tips*Blessings to you and your beautiful daughter and family~* Rachel :)

  4. Your deep and wonderful love shows through, thanks for sharing your heart! I will be praying for your precious one. Your story mirrors mine in so many ways, my son Justin, who is 24 now, was so sick and allergic when he was born (home birthed) that the Dr's told me he would die, I did not accept this and went on a life journey of health and was worth every suffering, terrible and wonderful moment!!!! Keep your chin up and I am here if you need a older mom to lean on.
    Hugs, big fat hugs coming your way today!

  5. aww, she has a loving mama, and that goes a long way. Also, the organic clean living is bound to help her. i really do believe that so many of our problems stem from environment, food and nutrition. You are on the right path. keep it up!


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.